my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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