Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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