i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
