Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i think im in europe. pls send help
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
