we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
