You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
