..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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