i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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