So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
