Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize