put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
