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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  dude, you're being a jerk.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney

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• (916): View more from California

  So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

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• (714): View more from California

  No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  Bringing families together since 1987

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.

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