How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
