4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize