Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Someone came in the potted fern
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
