apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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