Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
