Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
