just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
