so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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