Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
