she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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