Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
