Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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