Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
How's work?
Spinning.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
