Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
