Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
