Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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