are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The power of my boobs compel you
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
