well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
