You just made me feel so damn special
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
