Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
