i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
