so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He did a backflip because drugs
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
