Plan B is the new Plan A
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
