try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was CRYING into my vagina
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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