Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
