Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
