Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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