I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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