That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
