I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize