2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
