I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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