Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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