is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
