I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
His nipple licking is glorious
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