Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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