who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
