we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So vagazzling was a success
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize