he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Two words: blizzard sex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
