there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
