Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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