i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
