I hope mine doesn't look like that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
