he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
