dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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