so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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