your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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