so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
