he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
