so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize