I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize